Shivers

David Cronenberg's Shivers is such a TERRIBLE movie. Let's talk about it. Also, I meant to post this in the fall so let's pretend that it's not January 4.
 

My Colors

 

(from green nail polish going clockwise) Pretty Edgy by Essie, Jana by Zoya, Jancyn by Zoya, Lilou by Julep, Black Sketch by Milani, Blanc by Essie and Fishnet Stockings by Essie.

First, I painted my nails with Blanc.

Now it's time to paint a tree. I started by painting the branches.

Next, I added orange leaves. On my middle nail, I painted dots on the tree branches and a few dots on the ground. On my other nails, I painted a combo of dots and deformed looking stars to represent my leaves.

Then I added red leaves.

Next, I added yellow and green leaves.

Yay leaf nails! PS I knit those fingerless gloves! 😻

 

Shivers

 
I usually find something redeeming about my horror film of the week, but I SUPER disliked this one. Shivers takes place in a sterile, uniform apartment building in Canada. The film opens with a yuppie couple touring an apartment. In the unit next door, Doctor Hobbs, this old creepy guy who's doing weird experiments, is murdering his teenage mistress. Yay!

Doctor Hobbes believes that humanity has become too rational and lost contact with its natural instincts. So he develops a parasite that's half-STD, half-aphrodisiac and plans to release it. (Because parasitic infection is always the solution. Like, that time NEVER when all of humanity got hookworm and suddenly world peace and prosperity were achieved). Doctor Hobbes infects his 19-year-old mistress with the parasite, but then realizes how dangerous it is. In an effort to save others, he kills his mistress and commits suicide. But oopsie, the mistress has already had sex with a bunch of people in their apartment building. For the next 70 minutes, everyone in the building gets infected with a parasite that makes them act like sexually aggressive zombies. So fun!

The movie annoyed me because the plot made no sense and the details of the parasite's transmission were not consistent. And when it comes to super bloody films about STD-parasites, I at least expect my parasitic method of transmission to be effing consistent. One guy had the parasite crawl out of his body like a worm. Then his little parasite worm friend bit other people and infected them. He was the only one who experienced this parasite worm situation. Everyone else transmitted the disease through sexual intercourse.

A lot of other people hated this movie too and wrote real angry articles about it. Shivers was partially financed by the Canadian Film Development Corporation, a taxpayer-funded organization that was created in an effort to kick-start Canada's film industry and bring Canada to Hollywood's level of prestige (lol). Canadian journalist, Robert Fulford wrote an article called, "You Should Know How Bad This Film Is. After All, You Paid For It". OMG so sassy I love it! My favorite line: "If using public money to produce films like Shivers is the only way that English Canada can have a film industry, then perhaps English Canada should not have a film industry." Oh, Robert Fulford, I celebrate you!

I Married a Monster from Outer Space

I'm watching I Married a Monster from Outer Space and painting my nails with different colors and designs. In 2012 (woah that was 4 years ago) the New York Times wrote an article about the growing nail polish trend. The article included a great slideshow of nail designs. I recreated one of them.

My Colors

(from left to right) Alpine Snow by OPI, Mint Sprint by Sally Hansen, Mint Candy Apple by Essie, Russian Navy by OPI, Delight by Chanel, Sophia by Julep, Jancyn by Zoya, Cajun Shrimp by OPI and Stance by Illamasqua.

First, I painted two coats of polish on my nails using all different colors. I wanted my left and right hand to be totally different so I did a different color on every nail.

After that dried, I started painting the nail designs. I wanted each hand to have four different designs and one nail to remain one color. I painted the designs in different colors and on different nails. Here are my four designs:

1. Two Colors: I covered half my nail with masking tape and painted the other half. Then I carefully removed the masking tape.

2. Modified French Manicure: I went rogue on this one and didn't use masking tape! I "free painted" two green stripes on the top of my nail.

3. Diagonal Stripes: I covered my nail with masking tape and painted a stripe in the middle.

4. Reverse French Manicure: I cut a parabola shaped (#econmajor) piece of tape, covered the bottom portion of my nail and painted over it. Then I carefully removed the tape.

Wohoo! Multicolor manicure success!

I Married a Monster from Outer Space

I Married a Monster from Outer Space is a low budget horror film from 1958. Here's all you need to know about this film:

1. The special effects are really terrible. Movies from the 50s are a real treasure!

They really tried guys. So precious.

2. No surprise here, but this film is incredibly sexist.

3. The horror is based on a fear that your husband is secretly gay (This film was like let's see how many groups we can offend in one crappy movie. A true gem of hatred and bigotry).

I Married a Monster from Outer Space begins with a newly married couple. Before the wedding night the groom (Bill) runs over a rando dead body in the road. Then a very phallic looking glowing alien emerges and turns Bill into an alien. Naturally, the alien looks SUPER realistic.

The bride (Marge) notices that Bill is acting strangely, especially when he shows no interest in sleeping with her but tons of interest in spending time with his male friends. Marge runs around town, trying to find anyone who will believe that her husband is an alien. Of course, no one believes her because as everyone knows ovaries don't allow your brain to function properly. In the end, the aliens are killed and Bill returns as his normal human self. Now they can live happily ever after in a world with no homosexuals and no rights for women. Yay!