This week I'm watching The Blair Witch Project and doing caviar nails. Plus I gave a bunch of my friends wild manicures in celebration of Spring Fling.
Wohoo Spring Fling has finally arrived! Time to throw a party... a nail polish party! I invited some friends over and painted every nail I came in contact with. Here's what happened.
Liz
Gave Liz some tribal print nails using Turquoise and Caicos by Essie & White Canvas by Milani.
Erin
Erin got tribal print but with a sparkly background. I used Simmer & Shimmer by OPI & White Canvas by Milani.
Catie (aka CC)
Right before I did CC's nails a package of Zoya nail polishes arrived at my door. For the background I used Zuza from Zoya's new Beach & Surf Collection.
Meghan
Meghan is the Lady GaGa of my life so I gave her nails inspired by a crazy GaGa outfit. I used Blue Print by Milani, Black Sketch by Milani & White Canvas by Milani.
Casey
I was really feeling this one, so Casey got it too!
Lainie
Lainie really liked the Piet Mondrian manicure but since it's Fling I had to use neon! For this manicure I used Alpine Snow - Matte by OPI, Black Sketch by Milani, Lightening by Sally Hansen, Blue Print by Milani, Snappy Sorbet by Sally Hansen, Play Date by Essie, Speedy Sunburst by Sally Hansen & Shelby by Zoya.
Camille
Camille did some nail polish research on her own and found these awesome crackle rainbow nails. To do this manicure paint four different colors on your nails. Let it dry and then paint black crackle on top. I used Simmer & Shimmer by OPI, Mira by Zoya, Pink Parka by Essie, Mint Candy Apple by Essie & Black Shatter by OPI.
Leah
I liked Camille's nails so much that I just gave Leah the four different colors without the crackle. I used Ogre-the-Top Blue by OPI, Pink Parka by Essie, Play Date by Essie & Turquoise & Caicos by Essie.
Kathleen
I gave Kathleen caviar nails which is my theme for Nail Polish Sunday. I used Mint Candy Apple by Essie with clear microbeads. Here's how I did it!
First, I painted all my nails (except my ringer fingernail) with two coats of Shelby by Zoya. I painted my ring finger with only one coat.
Caviar time! So caviar nails have been a really big nail trend for the past 2 weeks because this company from England called Ciate is scheduled to release the caviar nail kit at Sephora in May. Basically caviar nails just means that you are attaching small colored beads (called microbeads) to your nails. So you can wait until May to pay $18 for name brand lil beads OR you can buy microbeads on ebay from some random store in Canada called The Crafts Outlet and have multiple colors shipped to your door in sketchy little plastic baggies for $8. I went with the Canadians!
Then I received this in the mail.
I'm just going to put the beads on my ring fingernails. So after all my nails dried, I put a second coat of pink nail polish on my ring fingernail and stuck it into the bag of beads. Make sure your nail doesn't touch the sides of the bag, only the beads.
Remove your nail from the bag and brush off the excess beads. Then lightly press down on the beads that stuck to your nail to secure them.
What I Learned from The Blair Witch Project!
1. Why 90s Fashions Live in the 90s
This film was basically a parade of terrible 90s fashions being modeled by three strange looking 90s college students.
There was the shark tooth necklace paired with scraggly gotee. OOH LA LA
The knit beanie and with a flannel shirt combo.
And my personal favorite, the plastic comb headband.
OH YEAH!
2. How to Die in the Woods
1. Bring a map and compass with you but have NO idea how to use them.
2. If you are trying to get out of the woods this can be done by walking really slowly, spending most of the day sitting, and repeatedly yelling "where's the map" even though we all know you have no idea how maps work.
3. To keep morality really low you should yell at everyone. Seriously, think of the most upsetting things you can say to someone who is afraid and lost in the woods and then just yell it in their face. I know sometimes it can be hard to think of really degrading and personally shattering insults so here are some good suggestions: "We are all going to die out here and it's your fault" or general swearing or if words aren't really your thing then just start violently punching everyone.
4. Total loss of sanity is a must! Sit down, rock back and forth and mumble to yourself. Surely you'll find your way home soon.
5. FILM THE ENTIRE THING. When you are dead you are really going to enjoy looking back on the footage of everyone yelling "STOP FILMING ME" at the camera. AWW such precious memories of the hiking trip that you died at.
3. Some Actually Interesting Comments on the Male Gaze
Despite how completely unintelligent The Blair Witch Project appears, film critics have managed to shape this cheaply made witch movie into a brilliant commentary about modern feminism. Like the article that said Heather is definitely the modern day representation of Eve and Pandora (Uhhh no). But one of the film critics discussed how Heather contradicts the male gaze and I totally agree.
So Laura Mulvey is this really smart lady who wrote a famous essay about the male gaze in art and film. She basically said that women are only portrayed in films as the male would like to see them. Women are sexualized, non-threatening and function to please men. The audience sees the film through the eyes of the dominant, heterosexual male. Heather is not seen from the male gaze because she films most of The Blair Witch Project. Therefore we are seeing the film through her eyes, through the female gaze. She is the voyeur, showing us how she sees the world.
